Psychotherapy for People-pleasing

• Saying yes before you have had time to notice what you want
• Feeling guilty or anxious when someone seems disappointed in you
• Taking responsibility for the mood in a room or another person's feelings
• Feeling resentful or exhausted, then criticising yourself for feeling that way

You may be thoughtful, generous and very good at noticing what others need. Yet somewhere in the process, your own wishes can become difficult to hear. You agree to one more thing, soften what you wanted to say, or tell yourself that it is easier not to make a fuss.

Knowing you could say no is not always the same as feeling able to. The fear of upsetting someone, losing their affection or being seen as selfish can feel much stronger than the words you have rehearsed.

For some women, noticing other people's feelings and adapting around them was once a way of keeping connection or avoiding conflict. What helped you belong then may now leave little room for your own anger, preferences or need for rest.

People-pleasing can be connected with anxiety, burnout and difficult relationships. We explore these connections with curiosity, without treating your care for others as a flaw or assuming every relationship is the same.

In therapy, we pay attention to the moments when you put yourself aside, including any wish to be an easy or agreeable client. You are welcome to disagree, feel unsure, or not know what you want yet.

Rather than simply practising how to say no, we explore what saying no brings up for you. There is space to understand the guilt, the fear and the longing to stay connected, alongside your need to have a place in your own life.

I offer this work in person in Basingstoke, Hampshire, and online across the UK. Sessions are 50 minutes, weekly, and begin with a free initial call.